CSSCGC 19
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REVIEW

 

AT 12,7; "CARBON DATING SIMULATOR"

 

Reviewer: Master
Developer: Chris Young
Genre: Romantic Adventure
Platform: Spectrum 48K
Language: BASIC

UDG-O-METER: 2
BEEPER ABUSE: 0
IMAGINATION: 4
CRAP FACTOR: 5
OVERALL: 3

Filetype Download Link Description
TAP carbondating.tap Spectrum 48K Tape Image
 
Loader

Some CSSCGC entries are knocked out in an afternoon while others take much, much longer. For the most part, however, I hope that people have fun making their games, utilities or other miscellaneous software.

There are some projects, however, that manage to inflict pain, frustration and, possibly, long term psychological damage on its developer. Whether through tedious slowness, endless debugging or brain-hurting complexity, by the time it's submitted to the compo, the author never wants to see it again!

Like Burndown ZX: Takeout for me, last year, Carbon Dating Simulator has left veteran developer Chris Young with a distinct sense of loathing for his digital offspring.

Multiple Choice

We start off with the lovely loader above which features a cartoon scientist I'm convinced I've seen before - but can't remember where! Bonus points to anyone who can tell me!

Onto the game and it seems you play the part of the depicted boffin who, while working in the lab one day, makes contact with not only another human being - but one of the pleasant smelling ones with flowing hair and bumpy bits on the front.

Confused and scared you subconsciously begin speaking to her and, apparently, chatting her up! Realising this, but unable to gracefully exit the conversation with your dignity intact, you've no choice but to go with it.

Missing DLC?

Like Brad: The Game before it gameplay consists of selecting between pre-defined options - the first of which is to decide which lucky lady you'd like to play with (Steady chaps! - Ed.)

It seems, however, that the Miss Black character is not included in the .tap file provided so you'll need to go to the Unsatisfactory Software website to download 'Tape 2.'

This wasn't available at the time of review so we stuck with the equally lovely (I'm sure) Miss White.

Holy Gamola!

Unlike Eq. Chris has managed to squeeze his adventure into a one-off sequence of 4 (admittedly long) loads, starting with this image. -->

I've no idea what it's meant to be (hopefully not Miss White?) but I can tell you that I haven't been this terrified since the loader on R Tape's Blind Sprite Maker!

Luckily, after two-or-so-minutes of yellow and blue screeching, the image is partially obscured by text as the conversation begins:

Hello. I'm Di.

1: Hello
2: Hey, what's up?

Game Over

Now I'm no Don Juan, but I do have some experience with the female of the species (I'm not convinced - Ed.) My tip here is to be polite and romantic, but keep it light and fun at the same time, and you'll do fine.

Saying that - on my first go - I managed to take her to the cinema and then die at the hands of GALACTIC DEATH MONSTERS, however, the possibilities for a more successful romance are surely just a few multiple choice questions away?

I'll leave the rest of the adventure for you to discover, however, please remember that a gentleman should never kiss and tell.

Bonus Feature: Development Notes

Chris has posted a brief exposé about the fun and frolics involved in developing Carbon Dating Simulator.

Any 3rd party developers who are willing to take over and have a crack at the Miss Black DLC will receive my amorous appreciation. (Now that's terrifying! - Ed)

 
 

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