Developer: leespoons
Genre: Text Adventure
Platform: Spectrum 48K
Language: BASIC

Lee was pretty quick off the draw with this topical text adventure based on Flappy Bird and, like Chris Young, was inspired by last month's Interweb™ hysteria as the developer of said game decided to deny an addicted public any further fix!

Also, like Choppy Bird before it, the topical timing of this entry has been somewhat compromised by my delay in reviewing it. Sorry about that.

I start off having to draw attention to the loading screen in this entry. I've seen some pretty impressive ZX loaders in recent years, however, this one is notable for just how rubbish a job has been done in converting this image to the Spectrum's attribute layout.

Onto the game proper and Lee manages a spectacular display of inconsistency, only 12 characters in, by accidentally changing the title from 'Flappy Bird' to 'Flappy Birds.' It's this kind of inattention to detail that earns those critical extra points so wouldbe CSSCGC entrants should take note!

One major gripe with many a text adventure over the years was figuring out what vocabulary the writer had used this time, whether it was moving about (EAST, WEST LEFT, RIGHT) or picking up objects (GET, TAKE,) the first few minutes could be frustrating. It took me a few goes, however, it appears that Flappy Bird(s): The Text Adventure has a Zork-like vocabulary of 1 verb; Flap.

So this is what we do - we flap, and flap, and flap. In this the conversion is most certainly an accurate representation of the source material.

Lee has also managed to cram screen after screen of beautiful Mario-esque pipes lovingly described in a text-only format of black text on an off-white background.

I had started mapping out the sequential rooms, however, I gave up after 25-or-so as I have a sneaking suspicion that this might go on indefinitely.

Unfortunately, with no graphics and deliberately vague descriptions (each of which comes with a liberal sprinkling of de ja vu) of where exactly the pipes in your path are located, it proves a little difficult to know when to flap and when not to - sooner or later I'm afraid you too will crash headlong into one.

To ensure this eventuality Lee has cleverly side-stepped the tricky challenge of building an arcade timing mechanism into a text adventure - basically he flips a coin - every time you type; "flap" you have a 50:50 chance of dying.

My high score is 4. How's lucky are you feeling?